Rose Burglar
Sexy Rexy, the rosebush intended for planting in my side yard, got stolen from my front porch yesterday morning. I walked out to go to work and she was gone. She’d only been sitting there for 24 hours; I was planning to plant her after work.
Can you imagine, an innocent pink baby rosebush, snatched away in the night by a botanical thief? What kind of person steals someone’s rosebush from their front porch? Someone jealous? Someone who had to make up with an angry wife? Someone desperate with a sick mother?
I don’t know, but I found the whole thing a little depressing. I felt a bit attached to Sexy Rexy, given that I’d spent some time carefully selecting her from out of thousands of rosebushes at Paulino’s. But it’s just $22.95 and I do feel stupid, in retrospect, leaving her on my front porch. (She looked so pretty!) And the truth is that I’ve lived in so many borderline “hood” neighborhoods without incident that I have to be grateful that all I’ve had stolen so far is a rosebush.
Still.
Meanwhile, Faye the orchid is making more babies than an Irish-Italian family. So there’s that.
