Moojinorbit

Grandpa’s goobery animals love me, for reasons I can’t explain. Here’s me with (right to left) Bernice, Norman, and Mabel.

No, Norman is not trying to go to the bathroom on me. He’s getting ready to lay on my chest. But it’s Bernice who has made me her own. She has an absolute fit every time I come to the front door. She makes big hound dog howls, pushes her head into me, forces my arm into her big, drooly mouth and then pretty much lays on top of me as soon as I sit down. She looks at me with big, lovey eyes and paws at me to make sure I’m touching her at all times. It’s so cute when a dog has a crush on you. And then it’s a little claustrophobic.

Okay, but onto other things… 

Like The Bartender Plan: my plan of getting part-time work tending bar (not “bartending,” by the way; my dad always made sure we said it right) at a hotel bar in Lower Downtown this summer. I know, Mom, it makes you a little sick to your stomach. Your PhD-daughter should not have to tend bar to make ends meet. But it’s not about having to do it; it’s just that I could use a means of making extra cash that has nothing to do with prepping, standing in front of students, driving all over tarnation for community college gigs, and/or grading. I’m already teaching a 3-week intensive course at DU in July and as of now I’m flat burned out from teaching and our quarter still has a week to go. I want to spend most of June and August working on academic projects. But I do have a pretty flexible schedule that could accommodate a few afternoon or evening shifts and, besides, I’ve always wanted to learn how to be a bartender. I was so sad in my mid-twenties that my dad had sold off The Yodler, our bar in Mammoth, ten years earlier. 

Ok, so Step One of The Bartender Plan (TBP) has been studying up on cocktails. I bought a laminated Bartender’s Guide and, of course, Bartending for Dummies. I enjoy perusing these most informative documents after all my school work is done, usually while enjoying my scalding bath in the late evening. (Someday, when I come home all beer-soaked and nasty, I’ll probably find this hopeful romantic period amusing.)

Step Two began last night, when I was already scheduled to hang out with Dubber the D.A. She agreed to sniff out a couple of hotels with me, so we started with Harry’s Bar at The Magnolia. (Let’s see if this virtual tour link works, so you can get an image.) Then we went on to the Strata Bar at the new Hyatt, where Justin, the Harry’s bartender, told us they are constantly slammed and probably hiring on a regular basis. I think I could see myself more at Harry’s, as the place is smallish and cozier and didn’t seem to have a manager constantly surveilling the scene as was the case at Strata. But Strata had a huge, expensive Scotch list, and I’m thinking there’d be some good tips in that. On the other hand, Strata is a 3-bartenders-at-once kind of joint, and on a slow night like last night, that can’t be fun at all.

Step Two is going to go on for awhile, if anyone (Marshall?), for example, wants to meet up with me this Friday for happy hour. I gotta see what’s out there and which places seem fun and/or feasible. I’m asking questions at this stage, figuring out how one goes about getting a bartending job, and watching the tricks of the trade. But for Step Two-and-a-Half, I’m thinking I should practice pouring some of the more complicated cocktails for a bunch of friends, and making people guzzle their brains out. Anyone for a Fog Cutter? How ’bout a Long Beach (not Long Island) Iced Tea?

Okay, I want to keep writing, figuring out steps 3-5, but now I have an injured baby sparrow to deal with that Rico brought in. So I’m off to the Wild Bird Center. Who said life in my household was boring?