Moojinorbit

Finally…a day at sea. And none too soon. We’re so wiped out from all the excursions, parties, and general running around that neither of us seems able to render a coherent sentence. I’m even more clutzy than usual, tripping over every threshold in this doggone boat. Plus, I accidentally set our clock one hour ahead for time zone change last night rather than tonight, so we lost a precious hour of sleep. But after the morning meeting, hosting a lovely brunch at a table with some fellows from Memphis and San Diego, we have nothing on our schedules until 8 tonight when we’re hosting the famously under-attended “Women of Atlantis.” This means rest, a little blogging, taking some sun up on the pool deck, and general lolling around until I get to wear Mom’s purple pantsuit for the classic disco dance this afternoon. Yeah, I might have to stop by the 80s skate party on the ice rink at 4, but other than that I plan to be lazy!

Until I get Christopher, our Atlantis team member who works in the Apple store, to help me figure out why I’m having problems uploading photos from K’s camera, I can’t show you our latest, but will try to do so soon. Let’s just say that “Fish Net,” our costume for the “Under the Sea” party, was a huge hit. Oh, and I have a funny story to tell you about that:

So you know how gay guys can be squeamish about women’s, um, private parts? Basically, if you put a vagina in front of most of these men they’d run screaming, arms akimbo. And there is no shortage of jokes around here about such aspects of, shall we say, gynophobia. Well, for Under the Sea, Katie and I donned bikinis underneath full-length fishnet stockings, which were, as it happens crotchless (but, again, we had bikinis under). We safety pinned all kinds of stuffed and rubber sea creatures onto the stockings, along with Swedish fish (the candy) kind of woven into the “net.” With our respective sparkly and silver metallic heels, and bubble blowing from bottles around our necks, the effect was at once hilarious and oddly sexy.

After leaving the dance party, round 2 a.m., we ascend the curving staircases and are saying goodbyes to the fans. (No getting around that we pretty much have a fan base at this point.) Some guy at the bottom of the stairs starts hooting and hollering at me, so I lift one leg high onto the banister and wag my orange-bikini crotch at him through the, um, porthole of my crotchless stockings. He gasps and goes, “Honey, don’t ever do that again!” I laugh. And walking back Katie and I giggle about the amusing effect of flashing even a covered crotch at these Nelly boys.

Then, back in the stateroom loo, I go to pee and see that there is a blood spot the size of a silver dollar on the crotch of my orange bikini. I’ve bled through my tampon. We both burst into prolonged hysterics, thinking about the poor guy who lived out his worst nightmare right there on the staircase.

Now, if you’re wondering if we do anything on this trip but run around the boat, we do. Yesterday we docked in Naples and visited the ruins of Pompeii, which nearly brought me to tears. How amazing walking the cobblestone streets of a city that was destroyed in 79 (or thereabouts) A.D. and has history that reaches a thousand years before that. The mosaics, frescoes, and city fountains were so vibrant they sent my imagination reeling. My group’s guide, Sebastiano, who lives in modern Pompeii was so passionate, so warm that we all wanted to come back and spend a week with him.

The day before, Katie toured the Italian town, San Gimignano where they blow glass, enjoyed a 6-bottle winetasting in Tuscany (Katie, who is hugely allergic to red wine, thank you very much), and Volterra, another charming countryside town. She had a wonderful time, made lots of friends—I know because everywhere we go on the ship it’s just like DU, with people calling out to her every third minute, hugging her, wanting to talk to her and linger looking into her pretty brown eyes. I understand completely. Her magnetism is a great asset here.

Tomorrow we get to escape the stampede to Ilia, a gay beach in Mikonos, and instead enjoy an excursion to the ruins of Delios on another Greek island. Then dance party in Mikonos until the ship leaves with it’s drunken, delirious inhabitants at 2:30 a.m. Next day is a quick stop in Santorini, then I think another sea day on the way back to Rome. It’s already slipping by so fast.

Ok, so I’ll work on the photo situation, and try to post for classic disco, the Greek Isles party, and the white party before we’re done. Many hugs and kisses to all.