Now that I’m back from hedonistic adventures, I’m trying to buckle down and get serious. This worked fairly well most of last week, and even through yesterday. I’ve been doing all the right things: rising early, meditating, envisioning my day, writing my task list, and then getting to work with focus, checking one item off at a time and resisting excess distractions. I’m keeping my commitments. I’m reducing my carbon footprint and getting some exercise by riding my bike everywhere (I think it’s been over 6 weeks since I bought gas). I’ve made my house into a dark little cave so I can hide from the heat. (Air conditioning is not good for the footprint, I know, but it’s too freaking hot up in Denver not to have some kind of relief. Besides, if I don’t sleep, I don’t stick to my plan.) I’m spending very little money–primarily because I have none–and keeping away from the seriously caffeinated beverages so I don’t psycho-out in the afternoons. I’m doing my academic writing, which is always a breakthrough and a relief. Keeping my house fairly tidy, which helps with anxiety. Watering the lawn in the evenings, the flowers in the mornings. Taking my vitamin B and trying to keep the carbs to a reasonable level. Generally being a good girl.
Except, every time I get on this kind of roll, little Nanny demons awake from their slumber and start making trouble. They whisper to me, there’s Rocky Road in the fridge, don’t you want some chocolate after that salad? They say, yoga boring; nap better. I’m in the middle of a productive drafting session and they go, don’t you think it’s time you checked your email? And, perhaps worst of all, they get me out of bed in the morning to crack out on Facebook, looking at everyone’s new photo albums and playing with dumb time wasters–or that’s what they did this morning. I’m about to put the clothes I wore away and they’re like oh, just leave them on the floor; you can pick them up after your nap.
Little buggers, trying to derail all this good discipline. Iced cafe latte!, they nudge. Cafe con leche! They want me to go shopping at Target, even though I’m $35 away from paying off my Target card. They don’t want me to clean up the messy basement: too much hassle, they protest. Let’s get in the car and go to the mountains; it’s cooler there! Let’s make chocolate chip cookies! Mowing the lawn sucks! Call Katie! Bake cake! A facial would be much more fun than reading these interview transcripts. Pet Paco. Wander aimlessly. Don’t work! Work bad!!!
That’s it; I’ve had it with the baddies. I’m doing a fresh meditation and getting back to work. I’m going to make great progress this morning, reading, writing, thinking, writing again, having theoretical breakthroughs, getting my work done. I’m going to eat nothing but protein and good carbs, then I’ll do ab work until I cry, then I’ll uproot the dead grass in that corner planter, and call my dad.
No, write on the blog, they say. Blog FUN.
